image I was checking the site today when I happened to notice the ads that were currently displaying.  “Hot Pocket”  are you kidding me?  The fact that a site that I have anything to do with could garner a advertisement for Hot Pockets (see below) just blows my damn mind.

Ya see, the ads on the site all correspond to the content on the site (in theory).  So somewhere in the Google Machine, they said “if you see this sort of content show the Hot Pocket ad.”  I shit you not when I say that some mathematical formula decided that Hot Pockets would be the best ad to display here.

So obviously, I had to click on this link.  EatFreely.org seems to be a marketing campaign solely for Hot Pockets and focuses on the need to be able to eat anywhere (i.e. “Freely”).  The ultimate “draw” to the site is a contest where you can win free hot pockets for a year (364 free hot pocket sandwiches in the form of 182 coupons for boxes of 2 hot pockets).  The thought of ANYONE eating a hot pocket disturbs me.  The thought of anyone eating a hot pocket every day for a year makes me want to vomit profusely.  The worst part of this post is that by making it, I know that we’re even more likely to see more Hot Pocket ads.  I know, it’s horrible, but just maybe, someone from Hot Pockets Inc will come here and find out that, in the words of Jim Gaffigan, they make diarrhea pockets.

Hot Pocket

Chris Risner